Today I officially froze my gym membership at Equinox for 6 months. I had originally got a membership there as a birthday gift and "investment" in myself; or at least that's how I rationalized paying $189 dollars a month for a fancy gym with beautiful people in Manhattan. I don't know what it was that made me stop enjoying working out, but being a member at an expensive gym turned out to be the opposite of inspirational to my getting in shape. It's been months since I have been consistent with a 3-5 day gym work out per week. I've developed a dread of going to work out with other people so far ahead of me fitness-wise. I've never been a competitive person, but I started comparing myself and feeling overwhelmed at how far I had to go to my goal weight.
Before I signed the medical leave ( a doctor friend of mine was able to write a letter for me, so that I didn't have to pay to freeze my membership or pay the cancelation fee), I weighed myself and was sad and ashamed to see how chunky I had let myself get. 186 lbs on a 5'4.5 frame is clinically obese.
Frustrated about my weight and to clear my head, I decided yesterday to walk the entire 6.1 mile loop around Central Park no matter how long it took. I did it in an 1 hr and 45 min. I was tired at the end, but it wasn't horrible. To be honest, I actually enjoyed it! I felt proud of myself physically for the first time in a long time. Today my legs and butt were sore. I've done spinning and other classes at the gym where that has not happened. Mostly though, I feel like I want to keep doing it.
Taking the pressure off, has really liberated me to actually want to be consistently active again.
So, I have decided that I will walk the 6.1 mile outer loop in Central Park five days every week. When that becomes comfortable, I hope to start being able to run. Eventually, it's my intention to be able to run the entire length without stopping. I'm hoping weight loss will be a result of getting stronger. I would be lying if I said I didn't care about reaching my goal weight of 128 lbs. But, I don't want to get caught up in focusing on just losing weight; I want to be comfortable and confident in my own body. Who know's, maybe at the end of these 6 months I will be confident enough to go back to a gym or maybe I'll give up gyms for good and stick with the outdoors.
Thank you for coming on this journey with me,
Central Park Girl